My Everything

On Sunday evening, our church hosted a musical event – kind of a “talent show” of our musicians.  I was blessed to be able to accompany my twelve-year-old daughter, who sang a couple of songs.  One of them was a song that I had prayed at my keyboard nearly five years ago, the night before the funeral of an eleven-year-old boy.  I truly believe that God gave us music to help us pray.

Trent was a normal fifth-grade boy, doing normal fifth-grade boy things.  When he got sick with the flu, his mother took him to the doctor. They watched his symptoms for a few days, and they seemed to get worse instead of better before he was admitted to the hospital.  Both his mother and father are colleagues of mine, and I was shocked when Melissa told me that the doctors were concerned that Trent might not live.  I prayed hard, and believed that God would save this boy –  I mean, what perfectly healthy boy dies of the flu, right?

Sadly, Trent died a short time later.  I know that God is not obligated to answer our prayers the way we want Him to, and that He ultimately has a plan for all of our lives, but I will tell you this was a hard pill to swallow.  His parents were devastated.  Our co-workers were despondent.  I was crushed.

I sat at my keyboard, very, very late the night before the funeral and wept.  My heart was broken for them.  I knew that their lives would never be the same – that they would need each other more than ever, and that they would need God to get through.   I thought, too, about all of the other people who have experienced such loss and sadness, and how they, too, needed God to help them get through.

As I sat and played notes, eventually the notes turned into a tune, and words began to fill my mind.  The result was the song that we shared on Sunday.  I had played it instrumentally during communion several times, but it had never been sung.  When I asked my daughter if she would sing it for me, her willing heart immediately said, “yes”.  When we sat down to rehearse it for the first time, I handed her the words (no music, for I’ve never actually written it out), she sang it absolutely perfectly, as if she knew the tune already.  Dumbfounded, I asked her how she knew it.  She said, “I’ve heard you play it lots of times here in the house”.    Although that may be true, I never even told her it had words, yet she was able to hear the exact timing of every word as God had written them on my heart several years before.

My Everything

Sometimes the road seems empty

Sometimes the road seems long

I have to keep believing in what keeps us strong.

At times the path is crooked

At times the world is cruel

All I can do is hold on to Truth

You’re my everything…. My everything

You’re the strength that carries me when I can’t go on.

You’re my everything…. My everything

You’re love keeps me strong

When our hearts are heavy,

And we just don’t understand,

God still holds us firmly in the palm of His hand

When our hearts are troubled,

And everything seems wrong

He heals the brokenhearted and He brings a new song

He’s my everything…. my everything

He’s the strength that carries me when I can’t go on.

He’s my everything…. my everything

Gets me through night til dawn.

Holding on when I can’t let go, carrying me,

He breaks the chains that bind me and sets me free

Everything…. my everything

He’s the strength that carries me when I can’t go on.

He’s my everything…. my everything

His love keeps me strong.

This is the message  the book Masquerade attempts to share with its readers.  Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted, and He binds up their wounds” (NIV).  I cannot pretend to understand why God took Trent home.  I only know the experience in my own life is this: God will never waste a hurt.  He will use every tear and every sorrow to mold and shape us into who He wants us to be.

He’s my everything.

Blessings,

SB

Copyright 2018 Journey-For-Life – All rights reserved.

Impact

We never know the full impact we have…

Hello there, beautiful readers! Thank you for praying for our friends’ wedding. For those new to this blog, I asked for prayer last week for a family, whose only son was getting married just months after his father died suddenly of a heart attack.

The wedding was beautiful! True, there were moments that were hard, but the love that filled the place, not only from the couple, but all of the family and friends who were there to support, did it’s best to try to compensate.

Thank you all for your prayers!

At the reception, the groom’s oldest sister shared that as she was coming down the aisle, thinking, “I can’t do this”, she reminded herself that I was up there in front of her playing the piano, and if she could keep taking steps towards me, she’d make it. Awww. And make it she did!

I remember my own wedding, and the heartache I felt that my dad wasn’t there to walk me down the aisle. Instead, my mom did, and what an honor to me!

In addition to the flowers, one of my favorite parts about this wedding was their guest book. They had a Bible and some highlighters and asked guests to sign their name and highlight their favorite scripture.

Sorrow can be trampled by love!

Blessings!

SB

Please follow my journey! It promises to never be dull!

The Blood That was spilled

From Masquerade: “Wow. Over the past decade, our country had seen a rise in shootings. Events that were so uncommon when I was a child had become almost commonplace. The term “going postal”, coined in the late 80’s after several shooting incidents involving disgruntled postal workers, seemingly paved the way for lunatic behavior from sick people who had felt like society had wronged them. Victim mentality. The victims wanted other victims because “hurting people hurt people”. Ever since the Columbine shootings in 1999, school administrators all over the country had participated in anti-bullying training and programs in the futile attempt to prevent such tragedies from occurring. What they failed to realize, however, is that unless and until they put God back into the public school systems, all of their attempts would be fruitless. Over the past several years, it administrators recognized that the socioeconomic makeup of the Northridge school district was almost identical to that of Columbine High School, and the school officials were acutely aware of the potential danger. They had mandated training for the teachers and administrators on how to handle these situations. They had begun anti-bullying programs and had anti-bullying slogans posted all throughout the school. I had always been somewhat prepared for the day in which we would experience a tragedy of that sort in our own schools. I prayed with my children every day before school, asking God to keep watch over them until they returned safely home. I prayed that if ever a shooting event took place, that my children would stand strong in Christ.”

(the post below was first published as a Facebook note on April 17, 2014, just a week after a school violence event at our high school – within a few days, the note had been shared over 25,000 times – my prayer is those it reached were impacted in a way to seek God in their life)

stay strong

At 7:16 on Wednesday, April 9, 2014, merely minutes after I dropped my fifteen-year-old son off at school, my cell-phone buzzed on the kitchen table as I cracked an egg into a frying pan.  At the same time, my sixteen-year-old daughter, who stayed home sick that morning, came into the kitchen.  As I turned to ask her what she was doing up so early, she announced that she had received a text from her friend that “J*** had been stabbed”. Instinctively, I picked up my cell phone to read the text that caused the phone to vibrate only seconds before. The text from my son read simply, “People were stabbed.  I’m ok.  Be praying”.

We learned quickly that one of the students, armed with two 8″ kitchen knives, launched a violent attack in the hallway of his school before classes started, stabbing 20 of his fellow classmates and a security guard before being wrestled to the ground and taken into custody.

Over the past 12 years since my kids entered pre-school, not a day has gone by that I did not blanket them with prayer before they exited the car, or boarded the school bus, or entered the school.   Undoubtedly because of previous school-violence incidents, these prayers have ranged from general prayers about their day to specific prayers to “keep them safe in the hallways”, prayers for specific teachers, administrators, and other students.  I was not a parent who thought something like this could never occur in our school – I knew the possibility existed – simply because evil exists in the world.  There had been times that I prayed (with them) that if something terrible occurs in their school that God would equip my children with courage, and to always stand strong in Him.

Over the next several hours and days, as details of the event unfolded, there were many thoughts that struck chords in me, ranging from the “What if” and “If only” ’s that are so common and natural to ask, to the “what now” ‘s and “how can we turn this mess into a message”.   When I later learned that my son and his friend gathered people for prayer outside of the school amid the chaos, I was thankful that God has filled their hearts with compassion for others and a deep love for their Savior.  I am thankful that, by His grace, my children know Jesus as their Lord and Savior.

prayer

Over the next few days, as my children and their friends and I visited their friends in the hospital, I was struck by another chord.  Not one of the victims that we talked with had anything bad to say about their attacker.  Most of them expressed surprise about the attack and sadness or compassion for their attacker.

Just the Sunday before the incident, our youth pastor shared that my son and his friend had talked with him a few weeks prior, asking why it was sometimes hard to share their faith with their friends – those with whom they had done “macaroni crafts” in kindergarten.  He said, “I look at some of them and wonder what in the world happened since we did macaroni crafts together”.  In the hours as the news was unfolding, my daughter said, “Mom, I did macaroni crafts with A*****– he was a nice kid – he dropped his macaroni and it went everywhere and I shared mine with him.”  We have been praying for A**** and his family, along with the victims and their families.

I believe that God was in that school that morning – in the hallways, with His loving hand over the situation.  His hedge of protection shielded many of the kids from injury.  Even among the injured, I believe that God prevented the wounds from being worse.  We are very thankful that, despite major life threatening injuries, not a single life was lost as a direct result of this attack.   When the security guard was tackling the suspect, he yelled, “No, my work is not finished yet!”  I can just about hear God’s voice saying, “No, MY work is not finished yet, son” as he blanketed the hallway with His protection.

I share this with you not to re-live a horrible ordeal, but to point to the Cross.  The “blood that was spilled” has a whole new meaning as we approach this Easter Sunday and the remembrance of Christ’s sacrifice for us. You see, Grace hung on the cross, not only for those who loved Him but for Judas and Pilate and the soldiers who nailed Him there.

I’ve heard hundreds of people ask what would drive a student to carry out such horrific act.  Was he bullied? Sad? Depressed? Hopeless? The truth is we don’t know.  What we DO know is this:   that God sent His Son to earth to pay for our sins – He does not want anyone to perish but wants all to come to repentance.

Romans 3:23 tells us that “ALL have sinned and fall short of His glory, and are justified freely by His Grace through the redemption that came through Christ Jesus.”   Whether big or small, all of our sin keeps us from the presence of the Almighty, and it is only through Jesus, Our Lord, and Savior, that we can be reunited with the Father.

My dear friends, hear this cry this night – if you have not asked Jesus to forgive your sins, and do not have a friendship with Him as Lord and Savior of your life, I invite you to do that tonight.   There is nothing more important on this earth.

This week was a stark reminder of all that can change in a week.  Similar to the week that began with people shouting, “Hosanna” and laying Palms at His feet, ending a few days later with people shouting, “Crucify Him, Crucify Him!”  You never know what a week will bring.   You may say to yourself, “I’ll have time to make things right with God later”.   I urge you to resist that thought – you may not have time later.

Now, in the quietness of your heart, while you have time to reflect on the gift that God gave through His Son Jesus, allow Him to draw you close to Him – to ask Him to become Lord of your life.

If you want to pray the prayer of salvation,

“Dear Lord Jesus,

I know I am a sinner, and I ask for your forgiveness. I believe you died for my sins and rose from the dead.  I trust and follow you as my Lord and Savior. Guide my life and help me to do your will.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

For those of you who have read my book, you will notice a tie to an event in the book.  In all honesty, the book, Masquerade, was written in 2009, long before the event above took place.   As I penned the fiction story, my intent was to write about a school violence event where one of he main characters’ children were killed.  I found, however, that, as a parent, I couldn’t actually put this into the book, even though it was fiction.  The book sat dormant on my hard drive for many years, until last summer when I began the process of publishing it.  When I read the section about the shooting incident, I was taken aback by the eerie similarity to the actual incident.

If you haven’t read the book yet, you can get it here!  If you have read it, thank you, thank you, thank you – please feel free to leave a review!  My sincerest prayer is that, through this book, and through my life, people will be drawn into a relationship with a loving Father, who wants desperately to bring you peace.

Blessings,

SB

Copyright 2018  Journey For Life   All rights reserved.

Satan cannot win!

There are times in life where we feel as though we are losing the battle. Beaten and defeated, we sink into depression, deeper and deeper, feeling more hopeless than ever. The devil thrives on seeing our self-defeat, but the reality is that Satan cannot win!

In my book, Masquerade, Charissa is fighting this battle, and she knows in her head that God wins over Satan, but she cannot seem to pull herself out of the pit. Her good friend, Dwayne reaches down to extend a life preserving reminder that Satan cannot win! They were just the words that she needed to hear to be reminded that we have the power of God to call upon when life seems hopeless.

Everybody needs a Dwayne in their lives; someone who is sensitive to the needs of others and knows how to encourage them when they need it.

Charissa is forever grateful for her friend, Dwayne, and his faithfulness to encourage others. Do you have someone in your life who needs encouragement that Satan cannot win the war? Be a Dwayne today! Remind someone that God has not given us a spirit of weakness and fear, but of power through Him. With that power, we can fight the battles of depression and despair!

Be a blessing!

To those who have ordered my book, thank you! If you’d like, you can leave a review here

For those who haven’t, you can get your copy here!   Order Masquerade Here!

 

SB

Will you share your story?

those questions popped into my head last summer, as I drove 3 hours to set up and play for my cousin’s wedding.

What story?

I don’t have a story – I’m really just an ordinary person, with some good qualities and many bad ones. I love Jesus and want to be faithful to him.  I prayed silently as I drove by myself with music blaring and thoughts racing.  Of course I’m willing to share my story if it will help someone.  I just wasn’t sure which story.

Through my prayer life over the next few weeks, I jotted down some ideas of experiences that I’d want to share with others to help them see God in the face of adversity.   Turns out, when I put my “God” lens on, I had plenty of stories – and it turns out that I am excited to share what God has done in my life.

That single step of obedience to His question has led to a wild roller coaster ride over the past six – nine months that I can hardly keep the blessings contained – surely, my cup runneth over!

I believe I’ve only scratched the surface of the scripture in Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.  It’s less about getting what you want, and more about aligning your desires with God’s desires.  We are all work-in-progress, and God uses each lesson to teach us how much He loves each and every one of us.  He will not let go, and will keep pursuing us  until we find Him.

I would like to challenge each of you today – are you willing to share YOUR story?   are you willing to share how God has answered prayer in your life?  If you’ve never thought about it before, take out a piece of paper, or, better yet, a prayer journal, and start writing down the blessings He’s given you as if you intended to share them with someone – and then share them!  The result will be an amazing step of obedience in a way that will allow God to bless you even more!

Read more about my story here

Order Masquerade Here!

May you truly be blessed by God today and every day!

Blessings,

SB

copyright 2018 Journey For Life – all rights reserved.

Retrouvaille – a rediscovery

In my book, Masquerade, I recount, through fictional characters, the suicide of my neighbor, who left behind two precious children, just eight and ten years old.  The youngest, a beautiful girl named Lindsay, stole my heart.  When I still lived at home, I gave her piano lessons.  We invited her to make Christmas candy with us.  After my husband and I were married, we have her over to our house to do special things like make cookies, carve pumpkins, etc.

At some point, her father decided to move to Florida, and took the kids with him.  I tried so desperately to keep in touch with her – this was before cell phones and social media were really a thing, so I used to buy calling cards for her and send them to her so that she could call me “long distance” any time she wanted.  She never did.  I was never sure if the cards I sent even made it to her.  My heart was broken not knowing how life turned out for her.

As social media grew in popularity, I would search and search for her – she has a very common name, and I could find many of them, but never her. I even sent messages to a few, hoping they could confirm the identify to no avail.

On Tuesday evening, after my mom read my book, we talked about Lindsay. Ironically, just last week, my mom was going through some old pictures and came across pictures of Lindsay with her mother, and mentioned how she would love to be able to give Lindsay a copy of it – perhaps she didn’t have any pictures of her mother.

In the quietness of the evening, I thought I would try to google her again – after all, it had been several years since I had tried.  Low and behold, a Facebook profile picture popped up on my screen and took my breath away!  She’s beautiful!  I sent her a message to connect, and she responded right away, confirming that it was her!  My heart was overwhelmed with joy and I began to cry.  I was so thrilled to learn she’s doing well.

God is so faithful to the prayers that we have, even when we don’t realize it.   I have prayed for Lindsay and her brother for years and years and years, praying for a time we could be reconnected so that I would know how her life has turned out.  I am so grateful for a loving God who gives us the desires of our hearts.  Despite the difficult things we face in life, He is always there to help guide us.

We may face oppression in our lives, and there may be times when we feel like giving up, but I am here to encourage you today…. NEVER GIVE UP!  This is the reason that Masquerade was published – to share that message with hope to those who may not feel it today.

If you’ve already ordered a copy of Masquerade, I thank you with all of my heart, and pray that you will be blessed by its message.  If you haven’t ordered yet, you can order your copy here:

Order Masquerade Here!

Thank you, Jesus, for the wonderful answers to prayers – the ones you’ve already answered as well as the ones you will answer in the future.

Blessings,

SB

Copyright 2018 Journey For Life – All rights reserved.

 

 

Thinly Veiled

Where to begin….

Yesterday, when I got home from work, a package for me was sitting on the ottoman in my family room.  When I opened it,  real-live paperback version of the book that was published was sitting in my hands.  As I mentioned, I’ve seen the cover 1,000 times, but to touch it and flip through the pages was a righteous moment for me… and then I thought, “what if my mom see’s it?”    LOL (40-something years old and afraid of what my mother will think – can anyone relate?)    I mean, really, she doesn’t yet know anything about it… in the book, through fictional characters, I have laid out some of the most painful memories of my life… what if she reads it and judges me?  what if she’s angry that I’ve publicly admitted my weaknesses?   Could I hide it from her forever?   Probably not.   I was reminded of the conversation I had with the publisher when I told him my husband didn’t know about the book – he said, “well you better tell him before he sees you on the news”.

It had been terrifying for me to tell my husband, but I asked those encouraging me to pray for me.. and one night, I worked up enough courage to tell him.  His response (“what was your purpose?”) caused me to deep-think how I would like to see God use this book.  What seemed daunting to me ended up being a catalyst for me to change the “note from the author”  (funny how life works that way sometimes).

At any rate, I decided that when my mom got home, I would simply ask her to read a book, and not tell her I was the author, since, of course, I have a pen name.  She reads quickly – in fact, I believe she taught Evelyn Wood how to read back in the day!   I went to a different room because I didn’t want to feel her judgement as she poured through the pages of my open heart.  At one point, my daughter told me she was looking for me – but  I was hiding.

After she finished the book, she came into the room where I was – I could swear there was a tear on her cheek.  She said, “well, that was – WOW”   I wasn’t sure if she meant WOW in a good way or a bad, so I asked her, and she said, “Good”, which I will take at face value.   We talked about how my prayer is that it would reach people who are hurting and need to know God’s love.

I asked her if she was angry.  She said, “Why would I be angry?”   She said she knew I was the author in the first chapter – my identity is “thinly veiled”, as she put it.  I asked her to keep it secret from the rest of my family.  I told her they would not understand me.  She agreed on both counts.

I really don’t know why I was so afraid, except to say that the pain that I experienced in my life is also pain that she experienced.  I have seen how she’s handled it (well, I might add – she’s a fighter), and perhaps was afraid that dredging up old memories of pain would be difficult for her.  She loves Jesus as much as I do – probably more.  I believe that she will honor my prayer that God will use the message to let people know that, no matter what they’re going through in life, God is there with them and will help them through.

Many of you have already reached out to let me know your ordered your copy – thank you, thank you, thank you.

If you haven’t, and want to, please click the link below.

Order Masquerade here!

If you haven’t followed my journey, please do.  I have a feeling it’s about to get real.

Have a blessed day, everyone!

Blessings, SB

 

 

Copyright 2018  Journey For Life – All rights reserved.

Masquerade Released!

Life throws some pretty crazy situations our way, to be sure!  If we aren’t careful, we can inadvertently become victims of circumstance, and find ourselves in a deep pit of depression.

Last summer, a friend of ours passed away suddenly of a heart attack.  He left behind a loving wife and six grown children,  four sons-in-laws, two grandchildren (and one more on the way).   We are close to everyone in his family, including the sons-in-law, who were devastated by his death. His youngest daughter, a senior in high school, breaks my heart!  Although older than I was when my father died, I see in her all of the emotions that I went through after my dad died, and all of those painful memories washed over me like it was yesterday.  I wish that I could just hug her and tell her that it will be ok – that she will survive – that every day, week, month that passes will strengthen her – that God loves her and will somehow use this hurt to shape her.

This weekend, her older brother, who’s named after his father, is getting married.  All of the family will be together – all except for Kirk. I know it will be a very difficult day for the family.

I have the privilege of playing music for the wedding, and I know it will be beautiful, but I doubt that I will be able to play for it all without shedding a tear.

It is because of this pain that the book Masquerade was written – to be a beacon of light in a dark world to let hurting people know that, with God’s help, they can emerge victorious over devastating blows that life can deliver.

Masquerade is a fictional story that personifies tragedy and emotional battles that could really be experienced by any one of us.  The story isn’t a “rainbow and puppy dogs” kind of victory, but a story that demonstrates God’s faithfulness to us amidst our tragedies.

Masquerade was written almost a decade ago, and sat dormant on my hard drive for a long, long time.  Last summer, I began the process of publishing this book in the hopes that it would reach people who are hurting – to let them know they can have HOPE through Jesus Christ!

Masquerade Released!

 

I have two favors to ask of all of you tonight.  If you would, please click the link below and order your copy of Masquerade.

Order Masquerade Here!

Second, please keep my friends’ family in your prayers.

Many thanks!

Blessings,

SB

Jericho Sized Prayers

There are days that God blesses us immeasurably. Wednesday was one of those. Incredibly blessed to have had each of my college kids home in the last two weeks (one each week). My son, who is studying to be a pastor, led worship and gave the message at youth group.

Both of the songs he sang were new to me, but one of them talked bout the walls of Jericho. He knows I asked him to pray big a few weeks ago, but doesn’t know the details. The reality is that I’m praying Jericho sized prayers I thought it was cool that God picked that song for him to sing

His message was about hearing the voice of God. Not in an audible way, but in a guiding way. As a high school intern at the church last year, he also gave messages. To see the difference in his presentation skills and the depth of his messages from last year to this were amazing. As a mama, it warms my heart to know he’s on a good path.

Thank you, Lord, for blessing me beyond words to describe

Still praying Jericho sized prayers, knowing You are ever faithful.

Blessings,

SB

Following the Dream

Where would we all be today if Noah hadn’t been faithful to his dream – the dream that God had given him — and the dream for which God provided?

I have often wondered what Noah’s wife, Mrs. Noah, thought while Noah was building the Ark. I’ve had a dream for almost ten years. Every so often, I buy something and my kids will ask what it’s for. I will reply, “oh it’s for the (insert dream)”. They’ll say, “oh, that one that doesn’t exist yet??” One day, I replied to my son, who is studying to be a pastor, “Noah didn’t just wake up one day and build an ark. He had to gather the wood and other supplies first.”

Fair enough.

The truth is that Noah was probably gathering for quite a while; then he started build by and it took him about 100 years — all the while believing in what God had called him to do. Surely there were people, probably even in his own family, who thought he was crazy. He may have felt that way himself a time or two. After all, his dream was pretty large and overwhelming.

Where would we all be today if Noah hadn’t been faithful to his dream – the dream that God had given him — and the dream for which God provided

I am believing in my dream today more than ever, because I believe this is a dream that God has given me. I am believing that He will provide.

“God honors big dreams because big dreams honor God” (Mark Batterson, from In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day).

I don’t know what you’re dreaming today. Keep dreaming. Keep moving toward your goal. Commit your dream to the Lord, and He will establish your plans

I’m so excited to see what God is doing and will do!

Blessings to you!

SB

Copyright Journey For Life 2018. All rights reserved.