Over the past eighteen months, events in my personal life have been filled with more drama than a Hallmark move. Just as I declared my 2018 word of the year WAIT, God blesses me incredibly with some answers to prayers that were 12 years old, and some that were nearly 30 years old!
Part way through the year, I heard the inaudible but unmistakable voice of God ask me, “will you still trust Me when it gets really bad?”
I answered instantly, “yes, of course, Lord,” and instantly knew I was in for some rough water. I had no idea what would unfold, but in that moment, I knew God was preparing me for something big, and I knew that He was asking if my faith was strong enough to sustain me when things got “really bad”.
It’s taken a lifetime to grow my faith. Truth be told, in my young life, my faith really wasn’t very strong at all.. I was angry with God for taking my daddy when I was young, and it took me years to trust that God had a plan. The process of developing spiritual grit happens over time, by going through trials and learning to trust God to provide and deliver. As I reflect on my spiritual growth, in hindsight, I can see that I grew the most when I went through the fire, when all I had left was to rely on God. There were plenty of times throughout the process where I couldn’t feel Gods presence, and didn’t seek His Word for comfort, and relied on my own strength and abilities to get me through the tough times.
The battle I found myself in late last summer was a doozy… and included physical battle for my dear friend’s health as well as spiritual battle from other Christians (yes, even Christians can be ugly to one another) and my own doubts and fears. There were moments during this battle when I confessed to God that I didn’t know if my strength could last, and I found myself in unknown territory where I literally could do nothing but pray. For once in my life, I was completely powerless to change the circumstances of my tiny microcosm, and found the absolute only thing I could do was pray. I knew with my head that I trusted God, but quite honestly, I had to be reminded of God’s faithfulness to His people more than once.
During my battle, I turned to scripture, and studied how God used Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, and literally parted the Red Sea so the Israelites could cross on dry land when their enemies were in hot pursuit. He literally provided a way when it seemed they were out of options.
Miraculously, God intervened and provided grace and healing to my friend, and brought healing to other areas of my life which seemed impossible.
As we entered 2020, I declared my word of the year PRAY, as I learned so much about true prayer when I could do nothing but pray. To be clear, God wants us to pray.. He wants us to converse with Him, and He wants to reveal Himself to us through prayer.
In the past two weeks, I have been haunted by the question, “will you trust Me when it gets really bad?” I couldn’t help but think He was preparing me then, and now, to trust Him completely. I have a calm peace about all that is happening across our globe right now, that can only be explained by the presence of God. I know that God will deliver His people. He always has… and He always will.
I don’t know the extent of “really bad”… either for me personally, or for us as a society. All I know is that I will trust Him…. and I will pray. When I am completely powerless to change my circumstances, I will trust God for everything.
Be blessed, my friends.