The secret side of me, I never let you see
I keep it caged but I can’t control it
So stay away from me, the beast is ugly
I feel the rage and I just can’t hold it It’s scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls
It comes awake and I can’t control it
Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head
Why won’t somebody come and save me from this, make it end?I feel it deep within, it’s just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I’ve become, the nightmare’s just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster My secret side I keep hid under lock and key
I keep it caged but I can’t control it
‘Cause if I let him out he’ll tear me up, break me down
Why won’t somebody come and save me from this, make it end?I feel it deep within, it’s just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I’ve become, the nightmare’s just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster I feel it deep within, it’s just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster It’s hiding in the dark, it’s teeth are razor sharp
There’s no escape for me, it wants my soul, it wants my heart
No one can hear me scream, maybe it’s just a dream
Maybe it’s inside of me, stop this monster I feel it deep within, it’s just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I’ve become, the nightmare’s just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster I feel it deep within, it’s just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I’ve gotta lose control, here’s something radical
I must confess that I feel like a monster I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
Many years ago I was introduced to the band, Skillet at Creationfest Northeast festival. Having grown up with 80’s hairband metal bands, I like hard rock music, and John Coopers raspy voice is cool. As I listened to the words of Skillets songs, particularly on their Comatose album, and even more specifically on the song Last Night, I realized their words have deep meaning, which makes me like them even more. (the fact that their drummer, Jen Ledger, is a wild woman with sticks and that John Coopers wife plays the guitar is pretty cool.)
If you’re not familiar with Skillet, you should check em out…my favorite album is Comatose but the others are decent too.
Bass guitar, lead vocalist and band leader John Cooper expanded on the meaning of this song to Christianity Today magazine: “In a theological sense, the song is about original sin. You are born into the human race, you’re guilty or sinful, no matter what you hope to be. “Monster” is about the fact that there is somebody we know we don’t want to be. Some people call it the old man or the old self. That guy wants to creep out when you’re driving and somebody cuts you off. You wonder as a Christian, how do I keep it at bay? I liken it to the idea of a ’50s horror film of this beast inside you coming alive.” (Songfacts.com)
I’d have to agree that all of us have a monster within. Some are better at keeping it at bay than others. And some monsters are uglier than others. The uglier the monster and the harder to keep at bay, the more we need Jesus. We all mask our monster. Jesus is the one who sees us for who we really are.
My favorite lines in this song are:
“It wants my soul it wants my heart” and “I hate what I’ve become”. I have a few thoughts on each:
“It wants my soul it wants my heart”. Friends, there is a fierce battle going on for your soul. In every one of us, up until the time we die, there is a battle going on between Jesus and Satan for your soul. You see, Satan, the fallen angel, doesn’t want us to find the peace that controls our monster (Jesus). He wants us to be the monster. But Jesus tells us in the Bible:
New International Version John 16:33
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
When my inner monster comes out (and trust me, it’s ugly) I remind myself that He that is within me is greater than He that is within the world.
“I hate what I’ve become”. I have had people say these exact words to me, and for all the world, when they do, I’d like to say back, “then change it. If you don’t like who you are then change it. Find a new role model, new friends, and just do it”. I am reminded of a sociology class I took in college where the professor taught that inner city kids beget inner city kids and the cycle just continues because very few can mentally break the cycle of their familiarity. As an idealistic 20 something from a single parent home, putting myself through college, I couldn’t comprehend what he was teaching. I thought for sure he was wrong, that it only took a little courage for someone to pull themselves out of the mud. (And probably because I had been pulled out of the mud, I have an especially difficult time with people stuck in victim mentality) The longer I live, however, I have seen generations after generations make the same silly mistakes as those before them, and I’ve seen the inner city kids (I use that term loosely and not to offend anyone) stay inner city kids. I have seen people who can see the truth but just cannot accept it and cannot change. I wish I could change for them, but I can’t. They have to be the ones to do it.
The truth is that most people will not change until their risk of changing becomes greater than their risk of staying the same. For me, I was on a downward spiral and I knew it. The risk was that I’d stay on a path that would ultimately lead to destruction. For me, it was too great a risk. Luckily, a loving Savior reached down to pull me out of the muck and mire and set my feet on solid ground. The transformation of who I was to who I would become with Jesus wasn’t overnight, and, in fact, is still evolving. As I study God’s Word and apply those principals to my life, He continues to mold me to what He wants me to be.
If you know someone who hates who they’ve become, know that they can change if they are willing. … and if that person is you, know that it IS possible to change who you’ve become. I’ve done it. You can too! With God, all things are possible.
Monster is a good 4.0 MPH song at medium stride. Perfect for a treadmill
Be a blessing to someone today, my friends
SB
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