Journey-For-Life

Someone worth knowing

Someone worth knowing…

Several years ago, I was asked to play keyboard for a Christian rock band that happened to be made up of all teenagers – and me. I love to play keys, and I saw it as an opportunity to be somewhat of a mentor to the kids, who were only slightly older than my own at the time. We played for a bunch of music festivals in the area, and a few “battles of the band”. As we prepared for one show, I happened to be talking to someone I knew, who told me that his sons were involved in a Battle of the Bands that weekend. Coincidentally, it was the same one – so I said I’d be on the lookout for them. When we arrived, we started to unload our equipment, I took a look around to see if I could identify someone who looked like they could be this guys’ sons. I identified a few potentials, but didn’t approach anyone. Then, all of a sudden, someone came up to me and introduced themselves to me – and it was one of his sons. We struck up a conversation, wished each other well and moved on. A few days later, they friend requested me on Facebook – so we connected and struck up a conversation. I thought perhaps his dad had mentioned our conversation and was looking for me as I was for him. I found out that his dad had not mentioned anything about me being there or anything, and was still curious as to what made him come up to me and single me out among all the other people there to introduce himself so boldly, so I asked him about it. His reply is one I never forgot – and to some degree it still haunts me. He said, “You looked like someone worth knowing”. Someone worth knowing. I wondered what exactly someone worth knowing looks like…. I wondered if, after meeting me, he concluded that I was worth knowing? And then I wondered if I was really someone worth knowing? Am I someone worth knowing? Isn’t everyone someone worth knowing? Are they? Have you met people not worth knowing? Am I sometimes someone not worth knowing?

In a subsequent event where their band played – at a place called Mr. Smalls near Pittsburgh, I was awed by something that transpired. Mr. Smalls is an old church building that’s been converted to a bar – and they were having an under 21 band night, so a bunch of us went to see the bands – and their band was playing. It wasn’t a particularly Christian event – in fact, not at all. But after one of their songs, their guitar player – a kid probably 17 or 18 years old at the time, while on stage playing hard punk rock music, told the crowd that he was a follower of Jesus – who had died to save him from his sins. He invited anyone who wanted to know more about it to find him after the show to talk. I was awed. Awed that he had the courage to stand in the type of crowd that it was and give his testimony and invite others to meet Jesus. I was simply amazed that someone as young as him would have the courage to do something like that. I mean… I was 17 once… and I’ve got to tell you, it would have probably been the last thing that I’d have ever done at that age. That young man has gone on to go Eastern University studying youth ministry and is now a youth pastor in Ohio, changing lives every week. Someone worth knowing indeed.

Be someone worth knowing.

Blessings, SB

If you’ve read Masquerade, thank you! I’d love to hear from you – you can leave a comment, or write a review for me HERE.

cover photo

But I don’t Wanna!

obstacle

Ever face an obstacle in life that you just didn’t want to go through? Where you felt absolutely paralyzed to move in any direction, let alone forward? I had one of those days this week. So what did I do to escape? I hoped on a bike at the gym and just rode miles. And miles… and miles (kind of like Forrest Gump!) There was a time when biking wouldn’t necessarily have been my first choice…. And there are still many of things that I do to escape… like just crawling into myself and just playing the piano, or working on some sort of Craigs’ List project – or something that I don’t have to put actual thought into, but can do relatively mindlessly while I wallow in self-pity. It is good to have ways to escape. But the reality is that sometimes we JUST HAVE TO MOVE FORWARD. As much as we’d like to just sit down and pretend the world around us is not happening. But how do we do that?

What do I do when I really just don’t want to face it?

When I left for the gym that day after a whirlwind sort of morning dropped some things in my lap that I honestly just didn’t want to face, I had an overwhelming sense that I just needed to hear the voice of God. It was a craving for His voice to comfort me and tell me everything was going to be ok. I can remember when I was a young teenager, home on summer break. My mom, who worked at Carnegie Mellon University, set the expectation that we were to call her every morning when we woke up (because, of course, she left before I woke up). I remember that the sound of hearing her voice answer the phone was comforting. Years later, after I was married, I recall feeling that sense of comfort when I called mom and just heard her voice. Somehow on that morning, I craved the comfort that only my Heavenly father could give. I have a Bible app on my phone that I use regularly to read scripture… but I just wanted to HEAR scripture today. I’m not sure why I hadn’t done this before, but I downloaded the BIBLE onto Audible (an app I have for listening to books that I’ve been experimenting with for several months now). I really wanted to listen to Psalms, but the app downloaded the Bible in many “parts” (not by book or chapter), so I couldn’t necessarily tell which “part” was psalm, and they were still in process of downloading all 83 hours and 13 minutes of the complete New International Version of the Audio Bible. So Joshua 19 it was. The good news is that the narrator has an English accent, so it’s kind of cool hearing him read scripture. J Somehow I think God orchestrates far more in our lives than we ever realize, and I believe this event was no exception. Although the specific text of Joshua I was hearing was actually pretty dry (it was on the division of the land to the Israelites), my mind began to wander to the verse in Jeremiah (29:11) that is my life-verse. This is a verse that I heard explicitly in my early 20’s from Pastor Chris Livermore (who is still a very close friend of our family). “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, Plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future” It goes on to say, “then you will call on me and come to pray to me, and I will listen to you”. It was a reassurance to me that, even though I may face obstacles I don’t necessary want to, God has an ultimate plan for my life.

That evening, I dug out a few verses that I thought were appropriate for when we are facing unpleasant things. As I thought about it, and started searching for scripture that might give me an answer, I realized this was exactly what Jesus felt like when preparing to go to the cross. In the garden of Gethsemane, when He said (Luke 22:42-44, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done. An angel from Heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground”. I bolded a sentence above – one that I had never even noticed before today. Even Jesus needed support – and the angel was there to strengthen him. And the angel was right there to support Him! The interesting this about this passage is that Jesus felt exactly like I did today – He had to face something he really didn’t want to have to do – and He even asked God to take it on so that He didn’t have to do it. We all know how that ended, right? He DID have to go through that which he didn’t want to… and so do we sometimes.

Our mountains are different – it could be a physical mountain; or an emotional mountain; an educational mountain like a test or something; but we all have them. I relish in the fact that I know I have a God that has a plan for my life – and know that He will strengthen me just when I need it. I am so thankful for the encouragement that you all have given to me along my journey – and I pray that I can be encouragement back to you to keep going when you don’t feel like it.
mountainveiw
If you are faced with a mountain, you have several options.

You can climb it and cross to the other side.

You can go around it.

You can dig under it.

You can fly over it.

You can blow it up.

You can ignore it and pretend it’s not there.

You can turn around and go back the way you came.

Or you can stay on the mountain and make it your home.”
― Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration

Blessings,

If you’ve ordered my book, Masquerade, thank you so much! If you haven’t yet, you can order it HERE!

What ultimately matters?

A missionary’s journey… all about perspective – a few years ago at our church, we had an amazing opportunity to hear from missionaries about what they are doing in their respective corners of the earth. On Wednesday, a missionary from the country of Georgia spoke. He and his wife moved to Georgia in 2011 with a, then, 2 year old and 1 year old… to a country sandwiched in the middle east between countries experiencing tremendous turmoil right now. How much faith does THAT take??? It really makes any obstacle that I am facing seem rather small and insignificant. He gave us two challenges. The first can be found in Ephesians 6:19, “pray for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given to me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel”. And the second was this: “Live your life for what ULTIMATELY matters”.

So the big question is… What ultimately matters? Does it matter if our company meets its fiscal goals? Does it matter if we hit a “delivery” target or a “quality target”? Does it matter if we’ve provided the best quality product at the best possible price to the best possible customer? Does it really matter if I ever meet my fitness goal? Does it matter if I excel in math, or gym? Does it matter if I have a lot of friends? a lot of money? I’m not saying those things don’t matter… but we do those things in vain if we aren’t living a life that ULTIMATELY matters. What ultimately matters is that we can have an impact on PEOPLE. That we can show how Christ can love and support us… even when we feel like those around us don’t.

As I reflected those questions this week, I talked with a few of you and decided on a couple of things. First, it DOES matter that we do a good job in our daily lives – for many reasons. I believe that it shows people we are willing to work hard. Second, I believe that we develop skills in doing the things we do every day – not just the skills of doing that thing (whatever it is), but skills of relating to people, building relationships, inspiring others to do their best. The older I get, the more I realize that it is the relationships we build that make a difference in peoples’ lives. Through those relationships, we can have a positive impact on people. Through the positive impact we have on people, we can make a difference in their lives, and they can go on to make a positive difference in other people’s lives… and so on.. and so on…

These are things that ultimately matter.

Blessings,

PS. for those of you who have order my book, Masquerade, I thank you! If you would, lease leave a review of the book. IF you haven’t yet gotten a copy, you can order a copy HERE!

Perspective..

If I shared with you all the miracles I’m seeing unfold in my life right now, it would almost seem like a motion-picture. In due time, I will share them all with all of you, but for now, I’ve been sharing them with some of my closest prayer warriors that I refer to as my personal “board of directors.”

By the way, if you don’t have a personal Board of Directors, I would encourage you to fine one. Not just anyone can serve on your board of directors – they’ve got to be tried and true friends – friends who will keep you confidential discussions confidential. The Board of Directors is likely to be very small, but very powerful – they are friends who will encourage you to take a leap when you need to; to take a step back when you need to; they always have your back. My personal recommendation is to have a Godly Board of Directors as well – those who have an active prayer life, and will not hesitate to go to prayer on your behalf – and you’d do the same for them.

On Saturday night, I texted the members of my Board of Directors to tell them about a miracle that was unfolding right before my eyes in the life of someone very close to me. At the same time, said individual said to me, “you know, I’m watching for miracles to happen.”

My only response to that person was, “Can you not see them happening right before our eyes??”

I think we can miss miracles if we aren’t watching through the lens of expectation.

Jesus said, “I have come that you might have life abundantly.” I’ve lived long enough and had enough ups and downs in my life to know that doesn’t mean “have Jesus and have prosperity”.. but I’ve lived long enough to know that if you have Jesus, you have prosperity in life – perhaps not in material wealth, but in other areas of our lives.

The coolest thing about sharing miracles is that it helps other people grow. I have one special friend with whom I’ve shared these some of the events of the past few months. Last week, they said to me, “you know, this is pretty incredible to watch from my side.” In part because of the things that have been happening, this person has stepped out in faith to begin a journey of their own – and I’m expecting miracles for them as well.

My cup runneth over.

Blessings to you all, my friends.

Cheyne, Shane, Peter, Little Carter, Miss Kitt’s Awana…. part 4

Little Carter was born to My friend, Elise. I don’t remember whether there were any signs during pregnancy, but when he was born, he had to be put on a ventilator to help him breathe. He was on the ventilator for a good while, weeks if not months. Elise was a young, single mom, and the baby’s father, who had promised to be with her, left when the hospital visits became overwhelming.

In her faithfulness, our youngest daughter added “Little Carter” to her prayers. She never missed a prayer. As she prayed for Carter, I prayed for Elise, whose story was a little more complicated for a child to understand.

Over time, Carter was able to be weaned from the ventilator, until he was off of it completely! Praise God!

I was able to continue to share my faith with Elise, and she began to build her confidence as a mother. She continued to work her day job and started her own Mary Kay and Lalaroe business, and it’s been neat to see her flourish as a young women.

To look at Carter now, you’d never know he had such a rough beginning in life. God has brought guy strength and personality to this awesome little boy! I pray His continued blessing on Elise and her family.

Blessings,

and the winner is…

If you have faith as big as a mustard seed, you can move mountains (Matthew 17:20) or mulberry trees (Luke 17:6). Faith is believing in something you cannot see, but know is real.

My faith has been tested many times throughout my life, and the more it is tested, the more I know that God is not only real, but cares about even the smallest details of my life.

A few weeks ago, my husband told me that I have enough faith for both of us. He meant it as a compliment, but on the other hand, it makes me sad. I want the world to know what an awesome God we have, and to have faith that can move mountains and mulberry trees.

As miracles unfold before my eyes, I am convinced more than ever that God has a plan. Our job really is simply to get to know Him and recognize His voice, and follow His lead.

I am learning that, the bigger our dreams, the bigger the opportunity we give to God to work miracles in our lives. I’ve always been a dreamer – I love thinking of possibilities – and I see treasure where others see trash.

The feature image is a screen shot of an on-line spiritual gift test I took a few years ago. Though I wasn’t surprised about Faith and Leadership, I must admit, I was a bit surprised by “Pastoring” being my number 3. I’ve never thought of myself as a pastor, however, I have a unique opportunity to coach people, both through my day-job as a manager, and in my hobby-job as a piano teacher. It is my sincerest desire that people come to know Jesus as their friend…. so I guess that means “pastoring” to some degree.

It’s an awesome responsibility, and an awesome opportunity all at the same time.

I’ve asked you all to join me in praying for a really big miracle – and I’d like to ask you to keep praying.

If you have ordered the book, Masquerade, I want to thank you very much for your support! If you haven’t yet, I’d like to encourage you to do so – it’s a story about a spiritual battle faced by a career driven mother of 3. It’s not a fairy tale story, but one of hope during dark times.

If you like my journey, please follow my blog!

Blessings,

Before my eyes.

As miracles unfold before my eyes

Their beauty yet beheld

I am confident in Your faithfulness

I know You love me

I am Yours, Lord,

Willing to share all that You’ve done and are doing in my life with others to bring You all the glory You deserve

Your goodness is unending.

Forever grateful for Your blessings

Blessings, SB

Surrender

Surrender – Jordan Howerton Band

In my early 20’s, right out of college, I worked for a small company in the South Hills of Pittsburgh. The owner was a man with a large ego, who created all kinds of drama with the women who worked in the shop. I don’t want to say negative things about him, but suffice to say I did not enjoy working there. With a degree in electrical engineering, I assumed it would be fairly easy to find a better job, so I began to search. After 3 months of searching and submitting resumes, with not so much as a bite, I was frustrated. In my frustration, I reached out to God and began to pray about it.

On a particularly frustrating Monday morning, nearly at my witt’s end, I went to lunch by myself at a local restaurant, where I prayed – and vented – to God about the situation. While I was having lunch that day, a thought popped into my head that perhaps there was a reason God wanted me there. In honest humility, probably for the first time in my life, I surrendered my will for His will. There, in the restaurant, I silently prayed that if there was a reason He wanted me in that job with those people that He would show me the purpose. I specifically remember saying that I was willing to stay if it was His will.

Exactly four days later, on Thursday, I was on a sales call for a small company in the East. I met with the Operations Manager, selling the products that I was being paid to sell. While we were talking, he mentioned that he was looking to hire some engineers. I mentioned that I happened to have my resume with me in the car. He asked me to get it, so I did; he interviewed me, and offered me a job on the spot! I told him that I’d want to give two weeks’ notice before starting, so we agreed on a start date, and I left, elated!

The next morning, I gave my two weeks’ notice. The owner decided I didn’t need two weeks, and told me I was done immediately. He had someone in the company drive me home, since I had a company car. When I got home, I called the man who had offered me the job and told him what happened, and he asked if I could just start the following Monday.

I realized in that instant that my three month wait (which seemed like an eternity at the time, but in retrospect was a vapor) was so much more about getting my heart right with God than it was about finding a perfect job. I had been relying on my own skills to find a job. It wasn’t until I completely surrendered to God that he gave me what I was looking for.

In many of his books, Mark Batterson says that God wants us to get where He wants us to go more than we want to get where we want to go.

I’ve been on a pretty incredible journey. You may think that, having had that surrender – God moment all those years ago would have changed my life forever – and it did! But, in my humanness, there are still times where I forget to completely surrender to God. Let me just tell you that God is still in the miracle business, my friends.. and He is looking for us to surrender so that He can bless us.

This scripture hangs in my bathroom so that I can see it every day. To me, it doesn’t mean that God just gives us everything we want… but when we delight in His perfect timing and perfect plan, our desires align with His desires and He is able to bless us.

You are about to hear some of my incredible journey – that all started when I was able to surrender my will to His will. Wow. what a crazy ride!

Oh, and a shout-out to the Jordon Howerton band, who played worship for the 2016 LIFE conference for the Christian Missionary Alliance church – this song is amazing – it had such an impact on our youth group and leaders while we were there, and I play it often still today – I hope you enjoy it!

Blessings,

Cheyne, Shane, Bear, Peter, Little Carter, Miss Kitt’s Awana…. part 3

I’ve been telling you all about the prayers of our youngest daughter, whom I’ve learned so much from about being faithful to prayers.

Today, I’d like to tell you a story about Peter and his dog, Millie. Peter is an acquaintance of mine from my last job, who also works for the same company I currently work for. When we worked together years ago, he told us a story of driving home one day, and pulling into the driveway only to feel a “bump” as he pulled into his driveway. Unsure what he hit, he put the car into REVERSE and backed up, over the bump once again. He got out of the car to discover that he had run over their family pet, Millie. He was devastated, as were his kids. They took Millie to the vet, but she passed away shortly after.

I was telling my family about the story, when our youngest daughter, who loves dogs, said she would pray for Millie. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that Millie had gone to doggie heaven, so instead, I suggested that she pray for Peter instead.

So, in faithful prayer, she added Peter to her prayer list, and has been praying for him ever since – every now and again, I’ll run into him at work and let him know she’s still praying – he can’t believe that she remembers the story, let alone still prayers for him, but he’s very thankful for the prayers.

Blessings,

In the midst of life…

A few years ago when I started my “official” Journey For LIFE (which was actually a fitness fundraiser to help pay for my kids’ trip to the Christian Missionary conference called L-I-F-E, I began a “blog” of sorts with the people I asked to sponsor me as I began a journey for fitness. In my request for sponsorship, I committed to publish a weekly newsletter to let them know my progress – as kind of an accountability measure. At first, the newsletter was simply about my diet and exercise, but it evolved over time to include some other articles, etc. I also committed to praying for each one of my sponsors, and they began to share with me ways I could pray for them, so I began to know some of the things going on in their lives. As I reflected each week, preparing for the newsletter, I was struck by the fact that while some were absolutely on a mountaintop, others were deep in the valley of despair. I wanted to celebrate with those who are celebrating, and mourn with those who were mourning.

I mentioned to you the blessings that I experienced over the weekend… and quite honestly, the few that I mentioned cannot even begin to describe all of what’s been going on in my life lately.. but there will be time for that later. In the same time as that, our oldest daughter, who is away at college, told us about her friend’s roommate…

Araella (a-RAY-la) was a senior in high school when doctors discovered that she had breast cancer. She fought it then, and was currently enrolled at in college, where she dormed with two other girls. Over the past month, she began not feeling well, but was afraid to get a scan to see if her cancer was back. Last Sunday, April 8, 2018, she woke up in excruciating pain and went to the hospital. The doctors confirmed that the cancer came back and had spread to her lungs and her bones. The doctors said there was nothing else they could do for her. On Tuesday, they moved her out of the dorm, and told her roommates that she would not be back.

On Wednesday, she Face-timed her roommates, and they prayed together. Araella had a strong faith, and knew that when she passed away, she would be in Heaven. Her roommate, Gabby, said that she felt like the Holy Spirit was in their midst and they were all filled with peace. Throughout the week, she said that she had glimpses of what Heaven looked like, and was excited to go, although sad to leave her friends and family.

On Sunday, April 15, Araella passed away, just one week after finding out her cancer was back. Before she died, as she was being wheeled down the hallway at the hospital, laying on a gurney, asking nurses if they knew Jesus.

Ironically, Sunday, April 15 was the university’s Relay for Life, an event dedicated to people who have fought and are fighting cancer. In the different categories of activities, they display names of people who are “still fighting” and those who are “remembered”. During the event, they removed Araella’s sticker from the “still fighting” category and moved her to the “remembered” category, as her university friends grieved the news.

I know that to be absent from the earth is to be present with the Lord, and I am happy for Araella, knowing that she is forever present with Jesus, but my heart is heavy today. I’m grieving the hole that her absence leaves behind in the lives of those who knew and loved her. In the midst of life is death.

Blessings,