The picture below was in my Instagram feed tonight. I had forgotten that I “friended” Erwin McManus months ago but it was cool to see this picture in my feed, having been at Mosaic for Code 1 ( fancy name for chapter, I guess).

I read The Way of the Warrior on the plane back to Pittsburgh and have underlined a whole bunch :-). I plan to share my thoughts, but my mom hijacked my book for now. She reads pretty fast so I expect I’ll have it back soon. In the meantime, I can honestly say I do my best to live my life for others and am pretty excited to see God use me to light the world! I don’t know yet whether anyone’s been set free because of me, but I know if I’m faithful to do my part, God will be faithful to do His.

Jesus set me free. Jesus, set them free!

be blessed!

SB

One of my father’s favorite books was a devotional by the title above, written by Oswald Chambers, an early 20th century evangelist.  My mother gave me a copy of it years ago. After I wrote and scheduled today’s post, I went to bed, only to wake up in the middle of the night, and lay there wide awake for a while before picking it up to read March 11.  I should no longer be surprised because God often works this way, but the similarity of topic in my year of WAIT is no coincidence.   Today’s entry, in its entirety, is below:

“I was not disobedient unto the heavenly vision”  Acts 26:19

“If we lose the vision, we alone are responsible, and the way we lose the vision is by spiritual leakage.  If we do not run our belief about God into practical issues, it is all up with the vision God has given. The only way to be obedient to the heavenly vision is to give our utmost for God’s highest, and this can only be done by continually and resolutely recalling the vision.  The test is sixty seconds of every minute, sixty minutes of hour, not our times of prayer and devotional meetings.

“Though it tarry, wait for it.  We cannot attain to a vision, we must live in the inspiration of it until it accomplishes itself.  We get so practical that we forget the vision.  At the beginning we saw it but did not wait for it; we rushed off into practical work, and when the vision was fulfilled, we did not see it.  Waiting for the vision that tarries is the test of our loyalty to God.  It is at the peril of our soul’s welfare that we get caught up in the practical work and miss the fulfillment of the vision.

“Watch God’s cyclones. The only way God sows His saints is by His whirlwind. Are you going to prove an empty pod?  It will depend on whether or not you are actually living in the light of what you have seen. Let God fling you out, and do not go until He does.  If you select your own spot, you will prove an empty pod.  If God sows you, you will bring forth fruit.”

“It is essential to practice the walk of the feet in the light of the vision.”   Oswald Chambers

Leaving LA Wednesday morning, the sky was crying as I drove to the airport.

I realized this is Ash Wednesday, which marks the beginning of the Lenten season, before Jesus was crucified on the cross. It is a season of remembering the awesome price that Jesus paid for us. Though my particular denomination does not formally recognize Lent, I grew up in a denomination that did, so am always mindful of this season of preparing our hearts.

My phone was plugged into the car, playing songs from my playlist when “At the cross (love ran red)” came on. It’s a song I know well; my daughter sings it.

“Ladies and gentlemen, this is a reminder from airport security not to accept any requests from strangers to take their bags. If any person tries to give you luggage, including to transport on your flight, do not accept it. All luggage is subject to search. Please report all suspicious behavior to airport security”. –sincerely, LAX security.

I get it. Some of you read my Saturday post and chastised my decision to be silent. The moral of the story is:

If you see something, say something.

I get it. :-). I’m currently at LAX at my terminal awaiting boarding for a “really full flight”. They are taking requests to change flights and/or check bags. I’ve already checked. By the time you read this, I’m hoping I’m home in my bed. I’m praying for an uneventful trip home after a long but fruitful week.

Although busy with work, I managed to see a few sights and connect with my cousin for a home cooked meal on the weekend. Last night, I had a delightful meal with my service manager, Jimmy, and his lovely wife, Susan! I enjoyed their company and plan to keep in touch long after Jimmys last day. I was privileged to see the vintage picture of Jimmy in his Mr. Olympiad contest (ripped), a video of him playing jazz music on his bass guitar on a cruise with jazz celebrities, play his piano, and shared countless laughs as I wished them well. I consider it a privilege to be among the only managers he and his wife ever invited to their home. I am blessed to know them and confident they will love a long and fruitful life together.

Thanks for blessing me!

SB

Several years ago, my son and I visited what would ultimately become his college. It was February, and the Minnesota air was a bone-chilling 8 degrees below zero, although the locals assured us they were having a “balmy” winter. Matt had been invited, as a scholarship finalist, to an event held to determine the final recipients. We travelled Thursday, had a fancy dinner with the Dean on Thursday evening, followed by “Light Roast” for the students to get to know each other.

Friday morning was filled with interviews for the students and parent meetings for the parents… to get to know one another and the campus personnel and professors.

We explored the Mall of America Friday evening, and headed to the airport Saturday morning to return home. We had taken a Southwest flight, and the Southwest terminal of MSP is much smaller and quieter than the rest of the airport. In the middle of the terminal, on a quiet Saturday morning, as far as air travel goes, stood a beautiful, black, shiny baby grand piano.

As we headed to our gate, I passed by, tempted to sit and play for a while. Our gate was right by the piano. I hesitated for a moment before deciding “why not?” Unsure whether they’d call security on me or not, I started quietly, and played a few pieces I knew well. I suddenly became aware of my son, who was quietly watching me, and didn’t want to embarrass him, so I stopped and took a seat in the terminal near the piano. The crowd who had gathered at the terminal applauded as I stepped away from the piano. Almost immediately, a red haired young man, about the same age as my son, approached and complimented my playing and asked if he could play, too. Of course he could. It wasn’t my piano any more than his. He asked why I quit, and I told him I didn’t want to embarrass my son. He looked at me bewildered and said, “why would that embarrass him??” He seemed timid and awkward, so I encouraged him to sit and play.

He played a couple little tunes, and then began to play a song that I knew well. As he began, sitting on the bench only a few feet from me, I exclaimed, “I KNOW that one! Can I play with you?” He invited me to join, and we broke into a thunderous round of “Jesus, Lamb of God, Worthy is Your Name… You are my All in All”…. and Kyle began to tear up. I gave him a quick, motherly hug. We played a few more tunes together and then I took my seat by my son, leaving Kyle to play a bit on his own.

As we lined up to board the plane, Kyle came over to us and asked if I could take our picture together with my phone and text it to him. He gave me his cell number and I texted it to him. Kyle said he was headed back home, somewhere in the Midwest. He didn’t give an indication of his story, but he seemed somber, and it made me sad. I told him how much I enjoyed playing with him and encouraged him to keep honoring God with his life. We boarded the same plane, where we both got off in Chicago to catch connections, never to see each other again.

I never got his story, but somehow always felt like he needed to see a bit of God that day. I did try to text his number once, just to connect and encourage him, but he never responded. I wondered to myself whether Kyle was put in my path in part to test whether I would make a statement for God. I left that encounter forever changed, humbled that God could use Kyle to make such an impact on my life. I prayed that I had made an impact on his as well, and prayed that he found God where he was.

To all of the Kyle’s out there, God sees you. God knows you. God is with you.

Be blessed today, my friends

SB

Several years ago, I read a book by pastor Erwin McManus, Artisan Soul, that resonated deep within me. Since then, I’ve read several other books by him, and am inspired by his words, as well as his love for Jesus and adventure.

On Sunday, I had the awesome opportunity to worship in his church in Hollywood, CA. I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect. I arrived super early and found there is actually parking on site (yay!). I sat in my car listening to a sermon that my friend back home in PA was streaming live on Facebook while observing the many volunteers preparing the building and surrounding for the service. Quite literally about 50 or so people were scurrying about, sweeping, preparing literature tables, coffee stands, and gathering for a pre-service prayer.

Around 9:30, I ventured toward the building and was greeted by about 10 different people, all super friendly. I am truly an introvert (though I know that surprises some people) and planned to just fade into the woodwork unnoticed, but a bubbly woman came running up and introduced herself as “Mamma D”. She asked if I was there alone, and when I replied, “yes”, she said, “not anymore! You’re with me today!” I honestly thought, “oh no! What have I gotten into??” I hung out with her until the doors opened and when we went inside, she said to the ushers, whom she apparently knew, “this is my new friend, and we’re going to the front row”. Lol. Goodness. Turns out Mamma B was from Shippensburg, Pa, and been here three years, serving as the head of hospitality team. No surprise. She told me that the “kids” refer to her as Mamma B because she’s like their mom away from home. She said, “99% of them have come to LA to follow a dream, and 98% of them will face rejection. My job is to help them pick up the pieces”. Awww.

Everyone was talking about Erwin’s new book, and some had “Book club” pins on, including my new friend. They were excited that he was going to talk about his new book today. I was a little disappointed. I’ve read some of his books and found them both inspiring and scriptural but was afraid I was in for a morning that was about Erwin and not about Jesus. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

The worship was good although the songs were new to me. The keyboard was a Nord, which is becoming a new favorite of mine. The room held several hundred people and most seemed to be in their twenties from all walks of life. I wondered if Pastor McManus would actually be there in person or simply projected, but during worship, I looked over and saw him worshiping with his wife, in my same row on the other side of the room.

When he got up to speak, he thanked the worship team for giving to God and bowed in prayer, asking the Holy Spirit to fill us. He did mention the book, but with a humble spirit. The books title, The Way of the Warrior made me think it was about battle, literal battle. But as he began, I realized it is about spiritual battle, depression and anxiety and the battle within our souls. He talked about living in LA, “the epicenter of human creativity but the epicenter of human brokenness”. He mentioned, as an aside, to be careful what “informs” you because it WILL form you, and talked about the importance of knowing scripture.

His scripture for the morning was 1 Kings 19, although he summarized chapter 18 to set the context. Elijah, one of the Lord’s prophets, interacted with Jezebel and Ahab, who worshipped Baal. Elijah challenged them to see whose God was more powerful but taking two bulls and preparing them to be cooked but not set fire to them but ask their respective gods to bring fire. Baal did not but God brought fire from heaven, and everyone was amazed. Then Elijah killed the prophets of Baal.  My notes from the talk are below the scripture.

1 Kings 19:1-13   Now Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. 2 So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, “May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them.”3 Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, 4 while he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” 5 Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep. All at once an angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.” 6 He looked around, and there by his head was some bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again.7 The angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” 8 So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. 9 There he went into a cave and spent the night. The Lord Appears to Elijah And the word of the Lord came to him: “What are you doing here, Elijah?”10 He replied, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”11 The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

Elijah had an incredibly victorious moment in his life, as depicted in 1 Kings 18, where Elijah called on God to bring fire from Heaven and He did; immediately following that victory, at the beginning of Chapter 19, Jezebel sends Elijah a message saying she’s going to kill him, and he runs away scared.

Pastor McManus pauses here to remind us that with social media, etc, we see the highlights of people’s lives, and sometimes compare ourselves to them. Sometimes when we see lowlights of someone else, it makes us feel better about ourselves. He cautioned us against comparing our lives with either highlights or lowlights of other people. God sending fire from Heaven for Elijah was a highlight of his life. Surely this should have given Elijah confidence, yet we see him run from Jezebel.

He also reminded us that no matter how much success we’ve had, we are not immune to anxiety and depression. “Anxiety and fear is not connected to reality. I’ve seen some of you face real problems with strength but sometimes fear happens in regards to things that aren’t real. Beneath them, Fear is just faith projecting the most negative future”

A few verses later, Elijah asks God to take his life, and says, “interestingly, this isn’t the only suicidal thought in the Bible–Jonah had similar thoughts.” He stopped to point out the irony that, while Elijah doesn’t want Jezebel to kill him, he is ok with God killing him. Lol.

‘”Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep’. Sometimes when we’re depressed, we sleep more. Sometimes when anxious, we cannot sleep.

Need to run TO your life. Don’t run from the one you need to running to.

If you have faith and you’re affected by depression, it doesn’t make you weak but human.

Sometime when we feel alone, we you make ourselves alone, retreating from those who love us. Some of our destructive behavior is manifesting in reality.

If you don’t allow God to heal you, you will always need more.

Are you carrying baggage ? (who isn’t?)

God is more creative than you. He always has more ways out than you can imagine.

What do you do when you’re depressed? Sleep? Eat?

We’re much harder on ourselves and on each other than God is on us.

We need to fight the fight for inner peace.

War is raging within us. The war that will end all wars is the war of the human heart. When your spirit is unhealthy you body is unhealthy. Your spirit needs to be healed.

5: He looked around, and there by his head was some bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again

“Don’t let em tell you you need to stay away from carbs”. Lol – Pastor McManus

7 The angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” 8 So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God

“There’s a journey ahead that you cannot avoid. Some will say they’re broken and can’t serve. But when you’re broken you need to serve. He’s always going to send you on a journey that’s too much for you so you need Him. It doesn’t get easier. You get stronger.”

Incidentally, sometimes we won’t allow broken people to serve. Leadership is about people. You may not be ready to lead but you are always ready to serve.”  (how true is that??)

“The feelings of emptiness is not proof of the absence of God. God is waiting the entire time not to reprimand. He’s here to start a new beginning with you.”

Take care of yourself. Be with friends. Eat and drink There’s more of you than you know.

9 There he went into a cave and spent the night. The Lord Appears to Elijah And the word of the Lord came to him: “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

This is the same question that God asked Adam in the garden.. What are you doing here? Why are you choosing to stay there?

Some of you are hiding in a cave called the job you hate. Or the life you hate.  It’s time to let the haters hate and move on.

10 He replied, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”11 The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”

The lord is about to pass by.

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

God wasn’t in the earthquake or the wind or fire. He was in the gentle whisper.

Elijah’s greatest battle? Not the fire, not the battle with jezebel. But facing his Creator asking him what is he doing here.  The biggest battle you’ll feel is the one for your soul.

We think peace will happen if we just aren’t violent. We will only have world peace when we have I. We peace. The war needs to be won in our souls.

Fight for peace. Surrender your inner world to the one who can bring peace to your souls, Jesus Christ.  He closed the service in prayer, and invited all who wanted to proclaim Jesus as their Lord and Savior to do so.

I am looking forward to reading his book.  Though the title doesn’t resonate with me, I know a good many people who are broken – who have and are battling depression and/or anxiety.   I, myself, have battled, which is one of the reasons I wrote the book, Masquerade.   I will summarize the Way of the Warrior for you when I finish.

In the meantime, be blessed, my friends.

SB

This Friday marked the final day of operation for the service center. I came out to say goodbye to the folks who have worked for our company, some of them for over 20 years. I know the difficulty of transitions, so I wanted it to be as soft a landing as possible for them.   When I arrived on Thursday morning, I brought bagels, and told them I’d planned to bring lunch into the shop both Thursday and Friday.  When I asked them what they wanted, they said Mister V’s Steakhouse…     a bit pricey steakhouse katty corner from the shop.  I told them I’d check out the prices and get back to them ….   and I did.  The compromise was this…  if that’s really what they wanted, we’d do lunch only once.. on Friday.   That’s what they really wanted.

We spent Thursday and Friday shipping the remaining items to our other service locations and preparing to auction off everything that isn’t needed somewhere else.  I invited the guys to come back on Tuesday for the auction.   On Friday morning, when I arrived at the office, the guys were like vultures, eager to ask me what I’d accept for this and that.  It’s only fair they should have a first shot at what they wanted, so I entertained all of their bids.  It was obvious to me that some of them had done their homework, and looked up what items might go for new, and offered fair prices for them. It also helped that they collected their last paychek today, and each of them came to work with a wad of cash to spend.. lol.   At the end of the day, I think it was fruitful for them, and fruitful for us.  I have labelled workbenches, racks, office supplies, lunch tables, microwaves, etc, for the auction on Tuesday.

Just after 11 AM, we walked over to the restaurant, and ate our last supper.

We enjoyed a nice lunch together and talked about each other’s families. It was a good way to spend the last day. I wish them all the best of luck and am happy to say that a many of them may be offered positions with a local company who does repairs. I hope they all land on their feet.

Best wishes!

SB