Examining my ways…

Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.

Lamentations 3:40

Last fall, I met a man who is working on publishing a book about his journey to recovery from alcohol. He shared with me how God deliberately reached down to pick him up out of the gutter. He knows it and wants to share his story with others.

Since we met, he texts scripture verses to me every couple of mornings. It never ceases to amaze me how well the verses line up with my life. Funny how God works.

Today’s scripture is above. Examine our ways and return to the Lord.

I pray, in the quietness of my home, for wisdom as I contemplate grand decisions. I believe I am testing them, both by my knowledge and His spirit. I have consulted experts in the fields where I need input, and bounced my ideas off of trusted friends and prayer warriors, those with discernment.

I am with the Lord, He is with me, and I give all that I am to Him. I’m all in. .. and for the first time in my life, can see there’s someone else who’s all in with me, who believes in my dream.. It’s been amazing to watch it unfold. I’m not sure where it’s headed, but I’m here to say I’m willing to go wherever God has called me.

Lord, I want to honor You with all that I am. I ask you, with sincere humility, to intervene on my behalf and close doors that weren’t opened by You, and open doors that You want me to walk through. Give me the courage to walk boldly where You put me, sharing my story with those who need to know You. Help me to test my ways; I’m laying out my fleece and asking you to validate my ways. Shape them as You see fit. I am Yours.

Your humble servant,

SB

The story isn’t over…

Watching details unfold as God pours out His Blessing is amazing. My mind can I’ll comprehend all He is doing. So many details not yet understood, but God’s hand is so clearly orchestrating my steps I can’t help but trust He will work out the rest.

Some days I just want to pinch myself. To know that He loves me so much to give me the desires of my broken heart… and is mending me in ways I could have never imagined.

He is preparing me for something. No doubt about it. I’m open and willing to all He has planned. Impatient at times, I’m learning that He will make all things beautiful in His time.

I know I shouldn’t be surprised.. after all, He is God.. and He can do anything. But wow. Just wow. I am so truly humbled that He loves me despite myself. That means He loves you, too, despite Yourself.

I’m willing to let it unfold as He wants… and I’m willing to share what He’s done to bring the glory back to Him.

Love you all!

SB

Catching Lions

The bigger the dream, the greater the opportunity we give to God to show us exactly how big a God He is.  Many of you know that I dream big – and I’ve been called a “lion-chaser”, which is fascinating to me.

I’d like to point you all back to a post I made a few months ago – mostly because, as I sit here today, watching unfathomable miracles unfold in my life, I feel as though I couldn’t articulate what is happening any better than I did in this post.

Chasing Lion’s

chasing lions

I want to thank each of you who faithfully read my blog – it is so humbling to me that you do!  Thank you to those who reached out to me to say they missed my posts in the last few weeks – you can’t even imagine how awestruck I am that you find the words I’ve written inspiring to you.

A year ago, I felt I was on the cusp of some Jericho-sized miracles, and expressed how excited I was to see them unfold.  To say that I could have never, in my wildest imagination, have dreamed how God would bring to fruition the dream He has given me is such an incredible understatement.  I find it difficult to find the right words to convey just what God has done and is doing;  I am just beginning to grasp the infiniteness of God. I pray that someday He will give me the right words to share the story with the world – the story is truly still begin written, and I’m so completely humbled to be a part of it.

I am unlearning and relearning through scripture, prayer & worship, and I’m taking risks.  I am able to see it and in process of seizing it.   I believe the Holy Spirit is setting me up for success… not for my sake, but His.

I am willing to look foolish to others who don’t understand because I believe so passionately that He is calling me and enabling me to do what He wants me to do.

I ask for your continued love and support, and most of all, prayer.

Blessings to you all,

SB

More than my wildest dreams…

God is so incredibly good to us.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” John 10:10

As God pours out his blessings on those who love Him, I shouldn’t be surprised but am amazed to watch the pieces of everything fall into place.

Lord, I am so completely Yours right now, and here to hear Your voice and follow Your lead.

Love you, Lord

SB

Paris burning…

This is me. In front of Notre Dame in 1993 on the vacation of my lifetime.

I had just graduated from college and travelled with my mom to Paris to stay for nearly a month in an apartment I. Montmartre section of Paris. I could speak a little French, having taken it as a language in high school and a refresher in college. I had been obsessed with France since first grade, when my teachers’ daughter would stop by the school at the end of the day and share with the class the words she was learning in French class.    Since then, I dreamed of a time when I could visit France.

In 1993, my mother was the executive administrative assistant for the President of Carnegie Mellon University, and had previously worked as an admin for the Dean of the Graduate School of Industrial Administration, some of which had apartments across the globe.  One of them allowed us to stay in his Paris apartment – another of them had parents in Belgium who invited us to stay with them during our month-long trip to Paris.

We arrived in Paris with an address for the apartment and clumsily hailed a cab who took us there.  We made our way up the 6 flights of stairs to the apartment where we were greeted by the neighbor, who was thrilled to see us as she’d been told to expect us.  She talked a mile a minute, for which even my “Conversational French” class in college couldn’t have prepared me.

We were exhausted and jet-lagged from our trip, but that didn’t stop us from exploring nearby Montmartre and Sacre Coeur.  We spent the next few weeks traipsing all over Paris, visiting all of the tourist spots completely on our own with no tour guides.  (Just a recommendation… this was an awesome way to see Paris!).

We took a train to Belgium and visited Antwerp and Brugge, and returned to Paris. I have so many wonderful memories about that trip and my pictures don’t do it justice. One day I hope to return and I know it just won’t be the same.

My heart is bleeding this week. To me, the loss is more than material. It’s history, and memories.

heaven and earth shall pass away

Blessings, SB

SCARS….

Today, I’d like you to check out a blog from my friend, Joni –

Grief to Life

Her post today reminds me that, no matter how broken you feel today, as long as there is breath, there is hope.  God is not finished with you yet.

“My scars remind me that I did indeed survive my deepest wounds. That in itself is an accomplishment. And they bring to mind something else, too. They remind me that the damage life has inflicted on me has, in many places, left me stronger and more resilient. What hurt me in the past has actually made me better equipped to face the present.” ~ Steve Goodier

I borrow the quote she used in the post to share below because it is a simple, yet true reminder.  There is, indeed, pain in life – sometimes because of choices we’ve made, sometimes because of the choices of others, and sometimes through no choice at all…. but the reality is, God will never, ever, waste a hurt.  He will use all of our pain and all of our scars to help to tell His story through us…  if we let Him.

photo cred:  kswpgoodfriends.com

romans-8-28