Author: Journey-For-Life

3 am… east coast time. Been laying awake in my bed for an hour so I finally get up to make a cup of tea.

In the quiet darkness I pray, as talking to my Father brings comfort. The house is eerily quiet despite its inhabitants… as it has been throughout the past days.

I listen for my Father to tell me everything will be ok. And I know it will. I wrestle with decisions being made by others, some outside my control and some within my reach, hoping and praying that those making them are seeking God’s council and listening for His guidance.

In three short weeks, our lives have completely changed.

In my head, I hear the lyrics to “Go rest high upon the mountain…. your work on earth is done”. My daughter and I recorded it at the request of a friend, still grieving the loss of her brother… yet I can’t help but wonder if the haunting harmonies are deeper.

Half-way through week two of a voluntary “work at home”, with a home that is fuller than most, I feel eerily isolated. As coincidences go, my son brought two friends and a girlfriend home with him on spring break this year. As news about Coronavirus broke just before their break started, his school, located 1,000 miles from home, suggested students bring all their school materials home on break in the event they’d have to finish school online. My daughter’s university gave the order for students to move out, so she and her roommate are here as well.

My work, for a medical device manufacturer, has never been busier, as demand for ventilators and other hospital ICU equipment soar. I’ve been asked to do my job from home, and have spent the past week and a half with a headset and my computer 8 or more hours a day, sitting by myself in my bedroom. It’s eerie to be honest.

In the evenings, I’ve been teaching piano lessons, which have all resorted to FaceTime or Zoom, everybody’s favorite new ap. While others post about their hibernation projects, I find no time to tackle mine.

Connected yet isolated. I’ve felt compelled to ask those in my care how they’re doing… to make sure their emotional needs are being met, with little regard to my own. I’ve inadvertently neglected some while trying desperately to make sure I didn’t. Connected yet isolated… in this strange time where the term “social distancing” has become commonplace

Lord, I’m listening,

as a million thoughts run through my head.

I hear politicians and leaders speak nonsense, ebrazened by the chaos abounding,

I see others’ with fear of drowning, fall prey to hype and dread

Lord, I’m listening,

Let me hear Your voice instead

Stay connected, my friends. isolated but connected…

SB

Good morning, precious Father. Lord, I bow before you, in this present pestilence, knowing that You are the same today as you were yesterday, knowing that You’ve created me and love me… and will rescue me. To remember my years of darkness before I really knew You is to remind me of all that You’ve done for me, and want to do for others.

I trust that You hear me when we converse, as I listen for Your voice in my heart, I know You are here and I feel Your peace amidst the chaos. Thank you for Your peace.

Thank you for teaching me to love like You love. Fill me with compassion for those who are afraid, for forgiveness for those who mislead, or worse, take advantage. Let Your peace fill our land and Your world.

In this time of chaos and confusion, Lord, let it be Your voice we hear, Your voice that guides. I pray Your protection on our country, it’s leaders, those who are making decisions that have lasting impact on our physical, financial, emotional health. Let those decisions not impact our spiritual help, except to bring others to a place of spiritual journey, seeking You. Let them find You and be blessed by You, that they, too, would see Your mercies and goodness.

Find Your people tender and loving, sharing The Gospel of your Son, Jesus, who was humbled and crucified on earth so that we’d have a way of salvation, a pardon for the sins we’ve committed, so that we would be reconciled with You forever. Give us courage to stand strong in the face of uncertainty and criticism. Give us wisdom to act, encouragement to help others.

I’m so very humbled by Your blessings, and all You’ve provided. May every thing You’ve given be used for Your glory alone. May the work of my life reflect Your beauty.

Forgive me for all of my shortfalls, for all of the times I’ve sinned against You, sometimes willful disobedience and sometimes careless. Cleanse me again, and refine me in ways only You can, for Your purpose. Use me, Lord, to fulfill what You’ve asked of me.

Forgive our land, Lord, forgive the corporate sins we’ve committed and restore our core to the God we trusted. Protect our resources, heal our bodies and our hearts, fill us with love for one another.

Love You forever, my Lord and Savior, Sanctifier and Healer. Amen

Good morning, friends! Many of you know how much I love dreams, and look for God to speak to me in my dreams.

Over the past week or so, I have been wrestling with some big decisions. I am confident that God has a plan, and I’ve seen incredible miracles unfold before my eyes, so I know He is capable of providing a way when it seems there is none.

Last night, in my dreams, the phrase Jehovah Jireh kept coming up, over and over again. I awoke with a comfort that He will provide.

The phrase comes from the account of Abraham and Isaac in Genesis 22

Abraham Tested

 The Sacrifice of Isaac 221 After these things God tested Abraham and said to him, “Abraham!” And he said, “Here am I.” 2 He said, “Take your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I shall tell you.” 3 So Abraham rose early in the morning, saddled his donkey, and took two of his young men with him, and his son Isaac. And he cut the wood for the burnt offering and arose and went to the place of which God had told him. 4 On the third day Abraham lifted up his eyes and saw the place from afar. 5 Then Abraham said to his young men, “Stay here with the donkey; I and the boy will go over there and worship and come again to you.” 6 And Abraham took the wood of the burnt offering and laid it on Isaac his son. And he took in his hand the fire and the knife. So they went both of them together. 7 And Isaac said to his father Abraham, “My father!” And he said, “Here am I, my son.” He said, “Behold, the fire and the wood, but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?” 8 Abraham said, “God will provide for himself the lamb for a burnt offering, my son.” So they went both of them together.9 When they came to the place of which God had told him, Abraham built the altar there and laid the wood in order and bound Isaac his son and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. 10 Then Abraham reached out his hand and took the knife to slaughter his son. 11 But the angel of the Lord called to him from heaven and said, “Abraham, Abraham!” And he said, “Here am I.” 12 He said, “Do not lay your hand on the boy or do anything to him, for now I know that you fear God, seeing you have not withheld your son, your only son, from me.” 13 And Abraham lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, behind him was a ram, caught in a thicket by his horns. And Abraham went and took the ram and offered it up as a burnt offering instead of his son. 14 So Abraham called the name of that place, “The Lord will provide”; as it is said to this day, “On the mount of the Lord it shall be provided.” 15 And the angel of the Lord called to Abraham a second time from heaven 16 and said, “By myself I have sworn, declares the Lord, because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, 17 I will surely bless you, and I will surely multiply your offspring as the stars of heaven and as the sand that is on the seashore. And your offspring shall possess the gate of his enemies, 18 and in your offspring shall all the nations of the earth be blessed, because you have obeyed my voice.” 19 So Abraham returned to his young men, and they arose and went together to Beersheba. And Abraham lived at Beersheba.

Genesis 22:-19 | ESV

In a blog by Tony Evans,Tony Evans Jehovah Jireh, Tony talks about trials we go through while on Earth… trials that God uses to prepare us for something He has planned. In this blog, Tony talks about the importance of Abraham’s immediate obedience to God’s command, even though it seemed crazy.

Are you willing to obey what God is asking you to do? Halfway? Someday? Abraham obeyed immediately, and then God provides.

I don’t know what God is asking you to do today, but I would encourage you to obey immediately.

A little over a year ago, God asked me to share my book Masquerade with the very person who, in the book, I shared had hurt me deeper than anyone else had ever hurt me. My immediate response was “no way! I’m not doing that, God!” Again, a few days later, I felt a prompting to send the link to the book. Again, I said, “no. I’ve done everything else You’ve asked, God, but I’m not doing that.” The third time, a few days later, I felt God prompt me to send him the link, I obeyed. As I sent the link, I literally thought, “God, I hope you know what you’re doing.”

As if there is any doubt God knows what He’s doing. He does.

If you think you’re not worthy of Him, or your past is so ugly that it can’t be changed, think again! God can make the foulest clean! Do what He’s asking you to do… today. Trust Him. He’s waiting to bless you beyond your wildest dreams. He’s looking for your complete surrender and obedience to Him.

Be blessed today, my friends.

SB

In discussion with a friend, I made a suggestion that they consider meeting with a counselor to help them sort through some things they are going through… their answer?

“God is my Counselor… and I talk to Him all day long.”

It struck me funny, in my year of PRAY that I didn’t immediately suggest or even think that. Ironic? Had I become complacent? Is there ever a time when God couldn’t counsel us better than an earthly thrapist?

Of course, I believe God can use others to bring healing, but is there any better Counselor than the Lord Almighty himself? Therapy with Jesus… again

The irony is his statement is that I, too, talk to God all day long.

I was reminded of a “note” that I wrote on Facebook nearly 10 years ago that, when posted, stirred up a hornets nest of controversy. In the note, I quoted Dr Siligman of the University of Pennsylvania. In his book, Learned Optimism, Siligman suggests that depression is merely the result of wrong thinking. “Depression is caused by conscious negative thoughts. There is no underlying disorder to be rooted out… there is no childhood conflicts, not our unconscious anger, or even our brain chemistry. Emotion comes directly from what we think: think ‘loss’ and you feel sadness. If you change these habit’s of thought, you cure depression”

“Scripture memory is our most powerful tool in changing our habits of thought, and the internalized truths of God’s work keep us mentally healthy.”

When I posted this note to my Facebook page, I had an immediate negative response from a girl who had struggled with depression her whole life who vehemently argued with me that God could do anything to change her depression. She spoke to me as if she were the authoritarian on depression, as if I had never experienced it. Whew! The hate comments that followed!

The reality is, though, that I HAVE experienced it… I spent years of my life victimized by the loss of my father and blaming God for it. I know what a wreck I was before God rescued me… i know that I was absorbed with self pity for my circumstances. I know that I allowed negative thoughts to overrun me life, to the point I considered suicide on more than one occasion. I knew depression well, like an old friend.

I also know the transformation that’s taken place in my life since I surrendered my life to the lordship of the Counselor. I know the healing that’s taken place, and the boldness He’s given me to reach out to others to share with them what He’s done for me.

And really, that is what we’re called to do… to share what God, the Counselor, has done for us. What He’s done for me, He’ll do for you.

I share some of my journey in my fiction book Masquerade , though thinly veiled in fiction. I am beyond grateful for the Counselor, who not only saved my life (literally and figuratively) but gave me a passion to help others find what I’ve found.

Yes, I agree that God is the Counselor. But I am interest in your opinions of earthly counselors… please feel free to comment back … have you had good experience with counselor? Have they helped? In what way? What advice would you give to someone looking g for a counselor?

Be blessed, my friends

SB

In our youth group this week, wetalked about the Apostle Paul and his radical transformation once he heard the call of God on his life. Ironic (or is it?) coincidence, since my post, Tenacity, happened earlier in the same day.

Paul literally persecuted the very people he became. He persecuted because he did not know… and once he knew, he was radically transformed. His transformation began when he heard the unmistakable voice of the God speak time him; transformation so radical that those around him knew he was a completely different man. Ever known anyone with such a radical transformation?

My maternal grandfather was changed like that when he came to know Jesus. My mother has told me about the man he was before Christ. I only knew the man after Christ changed him; he was on fire for the gospel. He lived his every moment following Jesus and telling others about how God changed his life. His transformation was radical and fairly instant, like Paul’s.

My transformation occurred much more slowly, over a lifetime of believing and following, learning and falling, and getting up again. Continued refinement until my mind and heart aligned with the Father. Still transforming, the work is not complete.

What was your transformation like? Have you seen others with radical transformation so clear that everyone KNEW it was God’s power?

I’d love to hear… please leave a comment on transformation… either your own or someone you know.

Be blessed today, my friends!

SB

Mutually beneficial relationship between two organisms. I need you and you need me. I’m good for you and you’re good for me. That’s how it works. What you need, I give. What you give, I need.

God has created us to need one another. And to need Him. I used to pride myself on my independence, and, truthfully, there are some good traits that come from independence. However, God created us to need Him. And to need each other.

The better relationships I’ve seen happen when both partners need one another and help one another. Where I am weak, you are strong. Where you are weak, I am strong.

The best relationships I’ve seen are when two symbiotic people put Christ at the center of their relationship…. creating a trio of symbiosis…

These are the relationships that really flourish, and continue to grow deeper and bless other people.

Praying for your trio of symbiosis today, my friends!

In Him,

SB

Good morning, friends! As you know, I asked prayer Warriors around the globe to gather in prayer over my friend, Rob. We met with his oncologist yesterday and all of his tumors have decreased despite the fact that he hasn’t had treatment for over 2 months!

More important that that, however, is the fact that he’s been attending church regularly and even went to a men’s Bible study.

God is a very big God. He is in the business of changing lives. It’s up to each of us whether we choose to follow Him and trust Him, even when it seems really bad.

I AM expecting miracles, not only for Rob but for me and others close to me because I’m deeply convicted that God has a plan and a purpose to fulfill, and we are part of that purpose.

I am thrilled with the news about Rob. However, if the news had been different (and sometimes it is), I am still goi g to trust my Lord. His will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Lord, thank you so very much for all that You are doing, in my life and the lives of others around me. I pray humbly that You will continue to show up and draw people to You. Use me to further Your kingdom and give me the courage to follow You, not only when the news is good but even when it’s really bad.

Be blessed today, my friends

SB

Hello, precious friends! I love the fact that you are all spread out over the world! I have a big favor to ask each of you…. pray with me. I am specifically praying for my friend, Rob, as we plan to meet with his oncologist on Wednesday. Tomorrow, he goes for bloodwork.

I messaged with a mutual friend of ours today, giving him an update on how well Rob has been doing since he got out of the hospital. When I told him that I’m literally praying the oncologist can’t find a tumor, so that I can tell him that God has healed Rob, he said “THATS the attitude to have!”

I have prayed really big prayers over the past year, and I have seen God answer some amazing things. It’s not too big for God to answer the prayer of healing.

I don’t know if the oncologist knows Jesus, but my prayer is that they become. acquainted through my friend Rob

Rob has been wonderful for the past few weeks and is concerned about going back on medication. My radical prayer is that he will not need it… that God has removed the tumor completely if for no other reason than to reach the doctor and his staff.

I’d like to pray for Dr. M and his PA, Leslie , as well as the nurses who work in his practice. I’d like to pray for the other patient’s and their families, and the churches they attend, or used to before they got mad at God. I’d like to pray for lives to be changed in ways that only God can do. I’d like to pray that the transformation in Rob’s life is so apparent to everyone he sees that they can’t help but ask why… and that, through his testimony, people will be saved!

Pray big. Pray without ceasing. Pray

Be blessed,

SB

During the publishing process of publishing my book, Masquerade , I had a small group of close friends with whom I shared. They were people I considered my “inner circle”, and trusted them to advise, though none had ever published a book before.

As the time drew close to the actual release date, one of them talked to me about her desire to have a “release party” to celebrate the milestone. I felt sort of awkward about it, since I didn’t really want the attention. That was the reason I’d published under a pen name, after all. When I told her I felt uncomfortable with the accolades, she suggested that we get together for a prayer session, to pray that God would use the book to touch lives the way He intended. This was much more palatable to me. I had never intended the book to be about me or anything I’d done, but about how God rescued me from darkness so that others might also be rescued from darkness. Praying that He would put the book in the hands of the people who needed it was a much more fitting response to His call to write the book in the first place.

A few weeks ago, my dear friend, Jim, passed away. In my post, God’s timing, I described the exchange of information between Jim, his wife, and myself regarding the book. I felt the need to share with Jim what had happened in my life after the book was published, but I also felt strongly that I should start with the book itself. I sent it to them in January, and, because of Jim’s poor eyesight, his wife read it to him.

If you remember, Jim passed just days after finishing the book, before I had a chance to tell him the rest of the story. When I saw Jim’s wife at the funeral, we remarked on the irony of the timing and said we trust God for whatever His timing is.

Yesterday afternoon, I received this email from Jim’s wife:

I could hardly wait to get home from church today and tell you what happened.

This week one of the women who came by with food stayed and visited
with me. We got to talking, and she told me that her daughter, about
whom we had been praying, had been clean now for 6 months. In the
process of our talk, she told about her own drug abuse. She grew up
in an abusive family of users and became a user herself. It was all
she knew; everyone around her used drugs. As an adult she came to
know the Lord, and has been a Christian for a few years now. She
opened up and told me about her former life of drug abuse, of
depression, thoughts of suicide, cuttings, etc. She had not told
people about this, and even then as she was telling me, she admitted
to be currently suffering from severe depression, and not long ago for
about a week had been institutionalized for admitting to having
suicidal thoughts. However, with all that going on, her life away
from home was a “masquerade.” I had no clue this was going on or had
gone on in her life.

Because I had read your book, I had some insight into what she was
dealing with–a world in which I was a total stranger. I would have
been completely unprepared to deal with what she was telling me. But
because of God’s grace and having read your book, I had more
understanding and insight into her situation/condition. I was able to
not be shocked. AND I was able to council her and let her know that
these thoughts that she was experiencing were Satanic attacks. We
talked about that, and about how to understand it and recognize it for
what it is, and with the Lord’s help, ways to counter it. I loaned
her your book. I think it will be helpful for her.

THEN this morning at church, she rushed to me and said that when she
got into her car after she left me, there was such a burden
lifted—such a release! Knowing that she was NOT going crazy, that she
was being attacked, that God was with her and with his help she could
withstand the attacks. Suddenly she felt JOY. As she told me this
morning, I rejoiced with her, but I also warned her that Satan will
not give up, but now she knows and can recognize what is going on, and
has knowledge and tools to defeat the thoughts. Again, if I had not
read your book, I would have just been dumbfounded and not known what
to say. But also, it was in God’s timing. I don’t think that God
would have given her that freedom to open up to me if I had not been
somewhat prepared to understand her, give her some comfort, and give
her some Godly advice.

Wow! I wanted you to know that already your book has been so
revealing about the robbing of joy, and even life threatening thoughts
that even Christians go through and to understand why these thoughts
come. And it gave me, who doesn’t precisely live in that particular
world, some tools to help someone who does—and there are so many
others out there about which most of us are completely unaware.

Thank you! You might have thought the book was for Jim to read, but
it seems it was for me.

The publisher of the book offered a marketing package for the book, one I could not begin to afford. I’m sure they thought I was crazy when I said that I would prefer to simply trust God to put it in the hands of whoever needs it. I didn’t write it to get rich, I didn’t publish it to make a name for myself. I wrote it as catharsis for what I was going through and I published it in obedience to God, who asked if I was willing to share my story.

Willing to share my story so that others might see what He’s done? And is capable of doing for them? Absolutely.

To God be the glory!

Be blessed today, my friends!

SB