Listening

3 am… east coast time. Been laying awake in my bed for an hour so I finally get up to make a cup of tea.

In the quiet darkness I pray, as talking to my Father brings comfort. The house is eerily quiet despite its inhabitants… as it has been throughout the past days.

I listen for my Father to tell me everything will be ok. And I know it will. I wrestle with decisions being made by others, some outside my control and some within my reach, hoping and praying that those making them are seeking God’s council and listening for His guidance.

In three short weeks, our lives have completely changed.

In my head, I hear the lyrics to “Go rest high upon the mountain…. your work on earth is done”. My daughter and I recorded it at the request of a friend, still grieving the loss of her brother… yet I can’t help but wonder if the haunting harmonies are deeper.

Half-way through week two of a voluntary “work at home”, with a home that is fuller than most, I feel eerily isolated. As coincidences go, my son brought two friends and a girlfriend home with him on spring break this year. As news about Coronavirus broke just before their break started, his school, located 1,000 miles from home, suggested students bring all their school materials home on break in the event they’d have to finish school online. My daughter’s university gave the order for students to move out, so she and her roommate are here as well.

My work, for a medical device manufacturer, has never been busier, as demand for ventilators and other hospital ICU equipment soar. I’ve been asked to do my job from home, and have spent the past week and a half with a headset and my computer 8 or more hours a day, sitting by myself in my bedroom. It’s eerie to be honest.

In the evenings, I’ve been teaching piano lessons, which have all resorted to FaceTime or Zoom, everybody’s favorite new ap. While others post about their hibernation projects, I find no time to tackle mine.

Connected yet isolated. I’ve felt compelled to ask those in my care how they’re doing… to make sure their emotional needs are being met, with little regard to my own. I’ve inadvertently neglected some while trying desperately to make sure I didn’t. Connected yet isolated… in this strange time where the term “social distancing” has become commonplace

Lord, I’m listening,

as a million thoughts run through my head.

I hear politicians and leaders speak nonsense, ebrazened by the chaos abounding,

I see others’ with fear of drowning, fall prey to hype and dread

Lord, I’m listening,

Let me hear Your voice instead

Stay connected, my friends. isolated but connected…

SB