Since my lunch with Sue, I’ve been pondering the perfect word to name my year. In all honesty, in my personal and spiritual life, I feel as though I am waiting expectantly for something to happen – it’s been that way for about the past year. I’ve posted several times about expecting miracles, waiting for God to unleash blessings, etc. As I reflect on this expectation, words like “await”, “anticipate”, “listen” (as in listening for God’s direction) come to my mind.
If we’re honest, most of us loathe waiting. It’s particularly frustrating waiting for something outside our control. Many years ago, a family member was laid off from his job. He had a friend who was a judge, who had apparently told this person he’d help him find a job. To my shock and amazement, this family member waited several years for his friend to come through, instead of actively seeking new employment on his own. I was in my early 20’s at the time, and even then, was dumbfounded and frustrated at his passivity. To be honest, I sort of lost respect for him to a certain degree.
Several years ago, I was put into a new role within my company. To be honest, it wasn’t a role I desired, and for the first year of that role, clashed with my manager. In the fall of that year, I attended a conference with our youth pastor and several other leaders within our church. During that conference, for which I had taken vacation time, my boss was particularly bothersome, calling or texting me daily for updates on projects, etc. Exasperated, I said to our pastor, “I’m done. I’m updating my resume and changing jobs as soon as I get home”. He looked at me and said matter-of-factly, “Why don’t you stay where you are until God calls you to something else?”
I stood and looked at him, bewildered. I had never really waited for God to direct me to anything. Somehow, despite growing up a shy and awkward introvert, I had somehow developed a sense of “take-charge-itiveness” that somewhat defined me, both professionally and personally. Looking back on it, I am confident that God’s had was on me the whole time, but I hadn’t yet learned the art of truly “waiting on him”. Every job change I had made, every activity I was involved in, every relationship I developed had been a result of decisions I had made (with one exception that I’ll share in the future).
His statement stopped me dead and caused me to self-reflect my responsibility to learn to wait for God. Isaiah 40:31 says, “but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint”
Learning to wait on God has been a process for me. If I’m honest, I’m still not good at it. However, I truly believe I am in a season of waiting – waiting with pregnant expectation of God’s blessing. I shall not wait passively like my family member, however. In waiting, I will continue to prepare my heart and my life, tuning my listening ear toward God, actively pursuing Him.
Still pondering the right word, but the “wait” is weighing in heavily.
Stay blessed, my friends!
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